Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Things about me you don't know
It could just be a symptom of the times. People are just too busy/stressed/preoccupied to place much value in other people.
But I always get this weird feeling like I rub people the wrong way. I'm just out of step with the world. It's not a spiritual thing, or that I am special and different. I think maybe I just have that personality to be alienated or out of step. My values are a lot different than most people and I think about and care about things that most people might not be interested in.
Maybe I'm just so selfish and self absorbed that people can't handle me for very long. That's a possibility. I started going to a new church and I noticed after attending for awhile that the Pastor made mention in his sermon how we should make an effort to show interest in other people and ask them about themselves. I wondered if he thinks I am that way. I do talk about myself a lot. Mainly it's because I have a hard time knowing what to ask people. When I ask people about themselves, they might say one or 2 things and then just stop talking. I get tired of feeling like I am interviewing people. I feel like if they aren't inspired to share, then I can just keep talking or say something more. Conversations are tiring. I do make an effort. But I try to entertain people, I think. Because I'll do a bit of back and forth, but then I'll tell a little funny anecdote or make a joke, or whatever. I think perhaps I try too hard. And what is the point because it's not like I'm winning over people by doing this.
I would love to be able to be silently friendly, and when I do speak, I say something very appropriate and comforting to the person. But that's just not my style. I'm not that sophisticated. I just say whatever.
My husband has told me that he thinks people don't like talking to me because they see that I am too perceptive and they feel like they are being "seen". Or maybe he means "scrutinized". I am curious about people, but maybe I look at them weird when I am talking to them. I really don't know. I should carry a hand mirror with me and whip it out and see what I look like when I am looking at other people. But that would probably weird them out more!
I just honestly don't sense very much goodwill from other people. I can honestly say that there are exceptions to the rule. There are some really warm people I know. But I don't see them very often. I should give them a call. Or send them a card and just let them know I appreciate their warmth and genuine caring. It might come across as odd because I haven't talked to them in a few months. Since I changed my church, I really haven't had a reason to talk to the few people I did appreciate. But that doesn't mean I can't reach out.
I wish people were kinder. I really do!
I was reading about "Asperger's Syndrome" recently. Maybe I have that. It's a really mild mild form of Autism that has no intellectual deficit (you might even be gifted) but you have a lot of problems socially. I am guessing that I don't have that because I was actually very coordinated as a kid. And my handwriting was pretty good. But I remember always feeling socially out of step. Looking back, I was a pretty good looking kid. There was nothing really different or wrong with my appearance. Yet I had a really hard time in school and was picked on a lot. Mainly I felt it was because I was nice to the 2 girls in school that everyone else hated. So I was astrocized because of it. But anyhow, I was reading about Asperger's Syndrome and they were talking about how young Aspie's can get social training as a part of their education. This one program in San Jose is teaching the young kids to make "mental file cards" for each of their friends, so they can remember specific things about individuals. I assume the purpose is so that they can remember to ask, "How did your dance recital go?" and "I brought a twinkie in my lunch because I know you like them, here have this." I am just assuming. I really have no idea. But I was thinking that maybe a lot of us can use the "mental file card" system with friends. I think I'll work on that!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
the dreadful seattle trip! but it was GOOD
The worst aspect was being afraid for my daughter. I didn't have a car up there and a lot of the time, I was left alone with my daughter all day. I didn't even have a phone since my friend uses her cell phone as her line. I had borrowed my mom's cell phone but since I was out of state, I couldn't use the phone or it would cost 75 cents per minute.
I had nowhere to turn except to God. And it did feel like my whole life was whittled down to just me and God. I was quite a baby about it all. Yet God was speaking to me, and I was finally able to have that perfect opportunity to talk to my friend about God. You see, all week long, I was asking God what I could say to my friend. And all I could think of doing was to be as loving and kind as possible, every single minute. Even though I was hurting and scared and severely ill. I just kept washing baby bottles for her, and cooking food for her every day, and cleaning the apartment. I tried to be useful every single day, no matter how bad I felt or how much I wanted to collapse in to a ball of quivering flesh.
Then on like the last day of the trip, when I was feeling like a useless failure for not finding any opportunity to talk to my friend about God, then suddenly my friend started asking me questions about Jesus and faith. And I just let it all shine forth. I answered each of her questions, and I made sure to explain why atonement with God is the most important matter in a human life. God is supremely wonderful...
I have no idea if she will accept Christ. It appears not. But the important thing is that someone who loves her told her all about God and what she chooses to do with it is her responsibility. Some day, she is going to die. I just hope and pray that before that day comes, she makes the most important decision she can possibly make. By Grace, we are able to make that decision. I am so glad to see that God's Grace is at work in her life, because I saw that God was working in that situation, leading her and getting her curious about Himself.
Now my latest issue is that I am super late on my period so I am worrying about being pregnant. I know that being ill can delay ovulation, therefore delaying the period. So that's probably all it is. But it's weird to be worried about yet another physical thing.
Today, most everyone I know is sick. So I am staying home, feeling lonely. I have nothing to do and my hands don't feeling like knitting or crocheting or doing anything really. So I feel like a big lump, a very lonely lump. But I know that I just need to turn away from these thoughts of my self and think of better things. I'll probably finish the dishes and get something cooking for dinner. I love cooking. It always soothes me to prep ingredients and smell something good cooking.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Seattle here I come!
I'm trying to figure out if there is anything I want to do in Seattle. There really isn't! I can only say that there is one place I have been wanting to visit ever since I saw a t.v. program about it: Woodland Park Zoo. I saw this t.v. program that showed they have grizzly bears there. On their web site, they say they are "brown bears", and that the kodiak bear is one type of brown bear. so I'm not really sure what they have exactly. But I want to check it out. Other than that, I think we are planning to go see the local countryside. And we'll go see the first Starbucks and hopefully find someone nice enough to take our picture together without running off with my camera! But I really don't know of anything else I want to do in Seattle. I will definitely contact my cousin Ruth and see if she wants to drive down to the city and have lunch with us, or maybe she'd like to go to the Zoo or the aquarium with us. She has 2 daughters who I believe are teens now.
Mainly I just want to see my friend who I haven't seen in 3 years. She has a baby now. I'd like to help her move in to her new place and also start eating healthier. We'll cook a lot of healthy food and pack some whole grain lunches. Maybe we will go get our hair done or something girly like that. It should be fun.
I'm just grateful for the opportunity to see her. I think I need to go have a good cry. In a happy way!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
October 1st To-Do List
1. Clear off and clean desk
2. Clean off the top of the changing table
3. Assemble more KASSET boxes and think of what to put in them
4. Call and cancel WW monthly pass
5. Put all photos and photo albums in the new cabinets
6. Figure out how to store the purses and bags and totebags that make me insane!
7. Wash out the inside of the microwave and clean the glass plate.
8. Throw out chicken stock and wash pot
Saturday, September 27, 2008
sunshine smiles on me this day...
I also won a contest on ravelry's "Crochet Bouquet" group. The author of "Crochet Bouquet", Suzann Thompson, offered to send a bag of yarn scraps to the winner of a contest to come up with ideas for making stamens for flowers. I was the only person to offer an idea for the month of August, so I won by default. I thought that was very kind of her to be willing to still send me some yarn scraps. Her scraps are probably a hundred percent better than my full skeins. I look forward to seeing what comes!
Ravelry has been a lot of fun. I didn't expect to win anything, but it sure is wonderful to see people who love their craft promoting it and having fun little contests.
I also feel like I won because I found some used craft books for really cheap on Amazon. They should be arriving in the mail any day now! I'll wait to share that here. I'll have photographs of some of the best pages!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Excited about my brother's birthday!
1. Thunderbirds 40th Anniversary Collector's Edition Megaset (all of the episodes on 12 discs plus extras bonus features) (I'm happy to notice that I got it for $30 cheaper than it is currently listed as on Amazon!)
2. King Kong vs. Godzilla/King Kong Escapes (2 TOHO Japanese monster movies, very campy but fun)
3. Some new shirts and a pair of pants (boring but necessary stuff)
I'm not sure if they will locate the missing cake pans to make the batman cake. In that case, I might just bake something super chocolately and yummy. I'll do simple decorations in all choco frosting.
Christmas officially starts in October for me!
"I'll keep working and maybe I'll just decorate for Christmas early, like around Halloween. I did that a couple years ago, and then the apartment manager happened to stop by in the second week of November. She was laughing and remarked about how early I decorate for Christmas (since it was before Thanksgiving, and people traditionally start decorating _after_ Thanksgiving!). I didn't have the heart to tell her that I put up the decorations on Halloween! Because I was stuck home alone and feeling lonely as the only Christian I know that wasn't observing the evil holiday. (Kinda being facetious here, ok! Just a joke.)"
I think I'll make this an annual tradition since we never have Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I suppose that if I were entertaining people in my home for Thanksgiving, I wouldn't want to spoil things for them by having the green and red stuff out. But I simply ADORE Christmastime. And I remember really enjoying getting in the spirit really early. I think I'll do that again since I always end up alone on Halloween. It seems like ever since I got married, my husband has always worked October 31st. I used to go over my parents' house. There is a chance I might actually do something this year since Halloween is on a Friday this year. I thought about maybe taking my daughter over to my brother and sister-in-law's house since they live in a really nice old fashioned neighborhood in Burbank where the kids still trick or treat. In fact, someone does a haunted house across the street, so I think things are pretty busy over there on Halloween night. But let's just put it this way: I'll have to invite myself! Which I am not shy about doing. But I just haven't gotten around to it yet. And a part of me says, no...just stay home and decorate for Christmas. Lonely little Christian lady...stay home and decks the halls...
What do you think this is?
Answer: Iceland. Isn't it fantastic? I have seen other equally intriguing aerial photographs of iceland. I wanted to post this because recently, on ravelry, someone added me to their friendslist and their name is a town in Iceland. It reminded me of some really amazing photographs I saw a few years back.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Chris' Birthday
I need to start planning this! The cake pans are lost in the garage somewhere. And I don't know if I have all the ingredients. I believe I do have all the dye, but maybe I need to buy some black gel dye.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
starting your own small business
I have a couple of ideas for a name. I think that to get started, I need a storefront type website with pay pal, and also I need to get a rubber stamp made with my store's name and/or logo. Then I might like to have a P.O. box too.
I wonder what I would need to do to get started? Would I be able to do this small scale at first without any insurance or would I have to get insurance? I met a girl at a Wilton cake class who had a cookie business and she bought insurance for like $300 a year. It's just a protective measure in case someone sues you.
Friday, September 12, 2008
International Crochet Day (9-12) Bracelet
Pattern for free (you can even use this to make items to sell at craft fairs!)
First of all, I apologize for how poorly written the pattern is. I have never written a pattern before! It's such a simple little pattern that I am assuming that you will be able to do it. If you are a total beginner, don't worry if this sounds wonky. It is and I'll hopefully rewrite it later today after I have thought about it more.
Gauge is not important. Use any yarn or thread you want, and the appropriate hook for your choice of yarn/thread. Actually, use one size larger hook to make the starting chain. Then switch to your proper hook size.
Chain a length that will fit a little loosely around your wrist. Add 5 chains.
Rnd 1: Crochet into fifth chain from the hook. (You are creating a chain 4 that stands for the first double crochet, plus adding a chain for the first eyelet space). *double crochet in next stitch, chain one*. Do that across until you read the final stitch that you can double crochet in. If you end up with an extra stitch, don't worry about it. You can either unpick it. Or you will just cover over it when you edge the bracelet (this will make sense when you get to the end of your chain!)
Rnd 2. Turn, slip stitch in chain 1 space. Slip stitch in to first double crochet. Make a chain 3 picot [A chain 3 picot is this: chain 3, slip stitch in third chain from hook.] *Slip stitch in next chain 1 space, slip stitch in next dc, make a chain 3 picot* Do this across until you reach the second to last double crochet. Then do the following: slip stitch in dc, slip stitch in chain space following it. Then do 4 double crochets on the side of the bracelet (you are at the side, or should be. You are just working around the side to get to the underside of the bracelet, then you'll work more picots on that edge). When you finish the underside the same way you did the first side, then you'll nearly be done. At that point, you do the same thing in the second to last double crochet: you slip stitch in to it, then slip stitch in to the last chain 1 space, then single crochet four times in that space. Join to the first stitch. Cut yarn and weave in ends.
Weave a ribbon or perhaps a crocheted length of chains through the eyelets. Tie on your wrist and show it with pride! Happy International Crochet Day!
p.s. Here is my original post about "International Crochet Day"
p.s. p.s. If you would like to learn to crochet, here are some crochet video tutorials! Feel free to ask me if you need some help!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Why today is a good day
2. I don't have a pain in my shoulder anymore (I think I got it from an overly goofy joyous aroebics exercise session the other day!)
3. I ate awesome healthy whole foods: chicken with a homemade teriyaki sauce, sweet potatoes (plain!), and green beans. I snacked on fat free popcorn and diet soda which have been my main indulgences. Oh, and some ff/sf pudding.
4. My daughter has been in a great mood. Yesterday she whined a lot for some reason. But she got a great night's sleep and now all I hear is giggling and babbling.
5. I got some great emails from an old friend! Pics!
6. My husband gave me some "big hugs" and my daughter squirmed her way in the middle so we had a whole family hug before he left for work.
7. I'm actually tackling some monumental foolishness in my kitchen (I think I heard Neicy say that in my head!) I created a challenge on a forum that I moderate. So I am feeling a little more optimistic that I can tackle this.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Sept. Mumsy Crochet Along from "Crochet Bouquet"
embroidery book by nora hana 1975 amsterdam
embroidery book by nora hana 1975 amsterdam
Embroidered Table Runners
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I'm serious! I'm going to make a big change!!!
1. Too much clutter: makes it hard to get tasks accomplished fast.
2. Too much clutter: can't find things when I need them.
3. Lack of planning: leads to last minute decision making and trying to figure out how to get it done (time waster)
4. Lack of routines: I just suck at that!
So I'm praying about this today, and I am going to dedicate time to tearing it all apart and putting it back together again. I need to come up with some plans (meal plans, routines for the day, etc.) I also need to just roll up my sleeves and tackle some clutter.
Pray for me! This is something that really makes me feel "ICKY" when I face the issues.
Monday, September 8, 2008
International Crochet Day
REMEMBER the 12th of Sept. this year is "International Crochet Day"!
To celebrate the day try one of the following:
~Crochet in public
~Teach someone to crochet
~promote International Crochet day in your blog
~wear something crocheted made/bought with pride
I found that information on the internet. I would like to add something to this. If you are going to buy crocheted items, always buy from someone who actually made the item. Most people don't know this but unlike knitting, crochet can not be done on machine. So when you buy inexpensive crocheted items from stores like Target or Walmart, please know that those things were made by some poor person in a poor country, and they were paid pennies for their work. It's not very nice. I actually get sad when I see a beautiful crocheted bag or hat in the store and it has a price tag of $2.99!
So let's raise awareness and do it in a way that honors crochet as a wonderful craft that must be made by human hands!!!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
really angry cat photograph
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Caroline Ingalls Shawl - and itsa mai birthday too!
In other news: I'm so tired from this long July month. It feels like I celebrated my birthday all month long. My husband's birthday is in July too, earlier in the month. So we start the celebrations early in the month, then celebrate our "combined birthday", one weekend in the middle of July. Then I always end up celebrating my birthday again at the end of the month. Yes, I am cheesy like that. So now I am totally burned out on my birthday, but in a happy, fuzzy brained way. I'm just trying to get caught up on all the dishes. I cooked a whole bunch and baked a cake, so I could use my skills to bless other people. (That's what I try to do every year for my birthday). It's just a big huge gastronomical excess. But that is one of the things I like to do, so i do it.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
giant granny afghan; caroline ingalls shawl
I wanted to mention that I am finally putting the tassels on my "Caroline Ingalls" shawl. It's not a perfect match to the shawl that the actress wore on the t.v. show, but it's inspired by it. And it makes me feel like a pioneer woman when I wear it. So that is what counts. I hope to be able to take some pictures soon. Maybe I'll dress up as a pioneer woman and have my husband take my picture with it on! (Note to self: Hair in bun, wear a stiff white shirt, throw on shawl, and remember to not say cheese or smile).
I still have to pre-shrink some fabric before I embark on my first sewing projects. Why am I paralyzed with nervousness? Why haven't I started sooner? I have all my necessary sewing doodads, plus my machine is out on my work table...
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Crochet Bouquet: Columbine Crochet Along
Friday, July 18, 2008
Canon PowerShot SD1100IS
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
cute baby room!
Friday, July 11, 2008
sewing bug bit me, big time!
Lotta Jansdotter's "Simple Sewing: Patterns and How-To for 24 Fresh and Easy Projects"
Jocelyn Worrall's "Simple Gifts to Stitch: 30 Elegant and Easy Projects"
Suzann Thompson's "Crochet Bouquet: Easy Designs for Dozens of Flowers"
I was so excited to see that Suzann Thompson is having a crochet bouquet-along for her book! That was total inspiration to buy her book, which I had been wanting for a long time.
I bought some fabric on sale at Joann's. And I cleaned off my work space. Now I just have to find my sewing machine in the closet. I think it's way up high on the shelf behind some boxes of books. So I'd better get my man to help!
Another book that I want is Amy Karol's "Bend the Rules Sewing", but I can't afford to buy more books right now. But I found the pattern online from her book, the one for the adorable baby bibs. I was so happy because this is actually the pattern I wanted to try first from her book. Joy!!!
Another book I have my eye on is
Amy Butler's In Stitches: More Than 25 Simple and Stylish Sewing Projects
There are just so many cool sewing books right now. Same goes for crochet. Is there a renaissance taking place with women and handiwork???
Sunday, March 2, 2008
ravelry and remembering things I used to enjoy
Saturday, March 1, 2008
baking today, and watching bad t.v.
But then I thought, "Hey, nothing beats peanut butter cookies when you want to munch on something sweet." I normally do not bake for myself. I usually only bake when there is an occasion with other people present to eat up the goodies. Because I don't think it is a good idea for me to be alone with sweets. But recently, I have been feeling sorry for myself and just thought I'd do something nice to enjoy all alone.
So I guess I'll wait until a later date to try out this cake recipe. I know that the yellow cake from that book is awesome because I made it for my daughter's 2nd birthday. But I want to try the sour cream cake recipe, and use the variation where you add grated chocolate just before pouring in the pans. I bet it looks and tastes wonderful.
Today I am all alone again. Nobody wanted to do anything with me. Everyone is sick. The weather changed and it's overcast and gloomy outside. I guess I have a weird mood as a result because I decided to watch an episode of the Outer Limits (I have the first couple seasons on DVD). It was called Corpus Earthling. This was such a strange episode, In fact, I have decided that because it is Ultra-Bizzaro, it is my favorite. Although O.B.I.T. was pretty strange and therefore interesting too.
my day was okay & my night is dynomite
I decluttered my workspace, an IKEA dining table pushed up against a wall with some shelving installed above it. This has been a bugaboo for me the past 6 months or longer. The table had been packed solid with clutter and I had not the heart to touch it. But flylady gave me a boost and I found myself zooming through it tonight. Now it's all clear and I feel sooooooo good about it.
Tonight I worked on a "Vintage Vertical Stripe" afghan. It's such an easy pattern, it's almost embarrassing to admit that I am making such a thing. But I want to say: This pattern rocks for watching t.v. You can literally keep your eyes fixed on the screen and just work it by feel. I have never had a project where you could really watch t.v. while doing it. So this is my favorite for keeping "on the side" when you have something to watch on t.v. that you really want to pay attention to.
My plan is to start my Caroline Ingalls shawl this weekend. I have been wanting to make one for a couple years now but I never seem to have the right yarn. I also tend to put other people first and always be trying to make good on promises to make things for people. I love that. But this is going to be a shawl for me.
You know what tickles me? My husband has decided to go back to school, so he is taking a couple classes in the mornings at our local community college. One of his classes is English 101. And what tickles me is that he is writing the nicest essays. I think that he is going to turn out to be a writer. I think he will discover, after all the hard work, that he actually enjoys it. I love seeing what he has written. He's putting his thoughts to paper and talking about personal stuff. The teacher (a female teacher, btw) has assigned some topics that get him going in to personal memories. The first lesson is to write a narrative. It has actually made me want to start writing again. I thought my time in college had destroyed all my desire to write. But I remember the good part of it too.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
silly late night thought about spam email
But anyhow, I thought it was funny because when I was deleting it, I thought, "They are totally giving people called 'baba gana kinebe' a bad name!" I mean, how am I ever going to trust someone named baba gana kinebe?
Sadly, there is some truth to it. I believe that nobody is going to have much trust for emails coming from Nigeria ever again.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
back in the saddle again!!!
My friend is about ready to have her baby. It's kinda exciting, although I am sad that she is so far away. She is in the military and she is in Kansas right now (Fort Riley).
My husband is due home very soon. I believe that he is bringing me chocolate. So I have a feeling of impending yumminess.
I got my daughter to bed in a very pleasant way. We read books and then I held her and sang rockabye baby. Usually she is not very cooperative when it is bed time because she fights sleep so much. But she was a good girl tonight. Perhaps it helped that I engaged her in our nightly clean-up. She knows that mom isn't sick anymore and is back in the saddle!
I am stuck in limbo with my Christian Artisans craft-along. I am about ready to start something, but I can't make my mind up if I should make a knitted log cabin afghan or a crocheted vertical vintage strip afghan or a crocheted flower swag (for lack of better descriptive words) or a crocheted Caroline Ingalls shawl. Today, I went through my acrylic yarn stash which is basically a bunch of acrylic (various types, mainly RH Super Saver, Caron One Pound, and old vintage stuff that I inherited from my husband's mom). I wound a bunch of it in balls. I figure that I have so much of it that I can safely use some of it while still making some bags of yarn balls for teaching seniors to knit/crochet. I am going to call the convalescent home tomorrow to make sure that it is OK to bring in hooks/scissors/needles/yarn. I'm only going to be teaching one lady to start. Her name is Purita and she has diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis which at the moment is not flaring up. She has already lost one of her legs to diabetes, from the knee down. And her eyesight is not that good, but she can still see fairly good. She is a very sweet lady who has been unable to crochet for quite a while because, she says, that the last home she lived in told her that she couldn't have any hooks. So weird. I wonder if it was a misunderstanding.
problem with family member
Monday, February 25, 2008
ravelry is so much fun!
Update on my blasted teeth: I had the crowns put on and I am in much less pain than I was. Only time will tell if the pain goes away completely. I have to rinse with chlorhexidine mouthwash. That's gonna be scary. I bet it tastes like gasoline or something.
thought on yarn stash; black bean soup was great
Today I went through some of my last balls and skeins of acrylic yarn. I have a wee bit of a dilemma. I just want to get rid of it, but I can't figure out whether I should make a scrap-ghan, or if I should organize it and donate it to a lady in a convalescent home who wants to start crocheting again. If I were to give her some yarn, I know it would bless her. But I am not sure how much yarn she can store in her room. I bet her room is small, and she probably shares it with at least one other tenant. Perhaps I could get together a few balls of different colors just to give her something to play with.
I just had a thought. Perhaps I will start teaching a crochet or knitting class at the convalescent home. In that case, it would be smart to divide up the yarn in to various medium sized balls. Then I would have plenty to share with a few different ladies. I guess that is what I will work on tomorrow. I will break up some of the larger balls and skeins in to smaller balls. Then I will make some grab bags of yarn and needles. I bought a ton of needles on sale at JoAnn's last year. They are all kinds of odd sizes but I don't think that matters when people are learning, just as long as they are not too small.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
more-with-less cookbook; recipes
I'm seriously enjoying all the cooking lately. I made some yummy lentil soup yesterday and tomorrow I am making black bean soup. I also might try the no knead bread recipe that someone shared with me on ravelry recently.
I'm so tired but for some reason I can not sleep. I am going to go pray until I drift off to sleep.
Friday, February 22, 2008
pain!!!!
PAIN!!!!! PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am still in great pain from my recent dental disaster. I must go writhe in agony now. So I get off the internet now...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Today is one of those days!
This is the scene right now in my front room:
Child...2 year old child....barefoot, stringy hair, dirty face...cheerios all over the floor, pieces of half-eaten chalk strewn on the floor below the chalkboard...ripped up coloring books all over the floor...crayons strewn about the floor...clutter all over the place...mom is frazzled and sitting in front of her computer in the kitchen, on the other side of a baby gate (so as to prevent the toddler from getting near her!)
I'm telling you, I am totally stressed out by the sight of this mayhem and foolishness. But today just kinda got out of control. I need to enter the room dramatically and restore order!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
hillbilly housewife; parent ed class; faith
In general, I am impressed with the simplicity and goodness of the recipes. True, some of the recipes are not to my taste. But if I can get in to doing fresh beans and fresh homebaked bread, this will be a very good thing for my family. I know it seems like a lot of work, but it just takes some planning ahead and breaking up tasks in to smaller, more manageable tasks.
This morning, I took my daughter to a parent education class which was fun. It's just a long morning of play, from 9 a.m. to 12 noon. The only bummer is that she managed to run away in to the parking lot before I could catch up to her. It scared the living daylights out of me. But I have a solution: I just won't attend the parent only discussion group. I'll stay with my kid because she is too hyper and wants to run away all the time. I hope she grows out of this stage soon! I wish I knew how to train her to stop when I call her name. Maybe I need to make it a game, with rewards. I don't know.
My crochet project fell behind my stereo, and I am too lazy to fish it out. I have some serious dental pain and need to call the dentist tomorrow morning. I guess I'll just chill out tonight with a book. perhaps the good book. I haven't been reading the Bible lately. I need God. Recently I had an experience where I felt overwhelmed by this sense of God's presence. I know He is with me and loves me no matter what. We have a relationship and I trust Him totally. But I often feel like I am lazy and lacking in devotion to God. I go all day sometimes without considering Him at all. It's like being married but you never consider your husbands feelings when making decisions, or you spend the whole day and night away without calling him to let him know where you are. I don't know. It's not really like that. Because God knows all, and there's nothing I can do to add to His glory. But I want to be more obedient. I don't use my time very well. I am very lazy. I sometimes slack off and spend the whole day in my own little dreamworld, not taking care of my home very well and even overlooking my daughter's needs for stimulation and attention. She's a good girl and will often just play with her toys by herself. But she comes around periodically and tries to get me interested in playing with her. And I just want to be left alone half the time. I have a bad attitude sometimes about the wonderful blessings God has put in my life. I could be doing an awesome job in the home, as a stay at home mom. But I often just feel unmotivated and tired.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
beanbags found a good home!
Anyhow, I wanted to mention that I gave her kids three bean bags, and these kids are so unspoiled and nice, they really really liked them and were playing toss games and the older boy was showing us how he can juggle (he can't really juggle, but he pretends!) My cousin homeschools, and I can only attribute her kids sweetness and innocence to that. What other kids would like home-made beanbags? I mean, they are so simple. I was gratified to have made them. They found a home where they will be appreciated. Dumb little beanbags though they are!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
granada hillbilly
There is only one problem with the hillbilly diet. Some of the food is kinda strange because I am not accustomed to southern food. I'd also rather use fresh greens. But the point is to learn some survival skills. So I think I'll stick to the menu precisely.
http://www.hillbillyhousewife.com/40dollarmenu.htm
Friday, February 15, 2008
beanbags; cleaning
I seriously need to clean up but I am dreading the process of decluttering. I have been feeling emotional lately. I know that I have a touch of OCD and have some hoarding tendencies. To me, my possessions, even my trash, are emotionally tied to me. I have to make decisions about every little thing to throw away or organize. It's not an easy process. I think for "normal" people, straightening up is as easy as breathing. For me, it always takes thought and effort. which is why it is always a struggle and so I work really hard to have things just half-way cleaned up. It drives my husband nuts because when he cleans, it takes him like half the time.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
a rare treat for V-Day; Linzer Hearts
I made him spaghetti this morning, and I mixed some dough for sugar cookies...if I can get around to rolling it out. I have some heart-shaped cookie cutters that I bought recently. I originally wanted to make Linzer hearts but I didn't get the nuts so I changed my plans. Maybe I will still make them. Look at these beautiful cookies!!!!
Griffith Park Merry-Go-Round (videos and info)
Recently, I visited the Griffith Park Merry-Go-Round and I thought it was so delightful that I want to tell everyone about it. It only costs 2 dollars a ride, per person. But you can hang out nearby for free and enjoy the music and the sight of the people enjoying it. It would be a nice place to have a picnic.
Here is a description from the Griffith Park Web site:
(323) 665-3051
Hours
Open weekends throughout the year and weekdays during the summer, and over Christmas and Easter vacations, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Description:
Located in
http://www.laparks.org/dos/parks/griffithpk/mgr.htm
Go to
Los Feliz
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Ravelry!
I can say that I have already found ravelry to be totally intimidating. When I searched crochet projects just to see what other people were doing, I saw the most gorgeous creations. I realized that the results are prioritized based on some sort of voting system, so that the first pages of results are the things that more people liked and favorably rated. Therefore, you are only seeing the cream of the crop. It is neat though. Just intimidating if you aren't as highly skilled or have awesome yarn.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
feeling sorry for myself
Now, I have to get off the computer and pick up...before my husband gets home from work. I fear the wrath of him. I always wish that he will be understanding when I am having a bad day. He really tries to be understanding but when it comes to the baby's toys, he gets irritated regardless of whether I had a bad day or not. So there is no choice. I have to suck it up and go pick up an impossible mess. Feeling sorry for myself...
pain pain pain!
Hopefully the nerves in my jaw will calm down soon. I'll ask my husband to stop and buy me some motrin after work.
I wanted to add that thankfully the pain has gone away. Perhaps the tylenol helped reduce some swelling that was affecting the nerves. I'm not sure if tylenol works the same way as motrin to reduce swelling. But thankfully I am not in distress anymore. *whew*
Monday, February 11, 2008
a visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses; my brother's birthday
Other than that, yesterday was my middle brother's birthday and we had a really fun birthday party for him. My daughter had so much fun. She was saying, "party, party, party!" and she got some plastic zoo animals to play with. She wore the sweetest dress, a very spring-y dress of white cotton eyelet lace fabric. It was sleeveless but came down almost to the feet. Totally sweet! My whole family seemed to be in an extra-jolly mood so we enjoyed the time very much. I will always remember how much I have enjoyed my family and how grateful I am to God for allowing us (sinners though we are) to have the capacity to bond and enjoy such sweet companionship. There really isn't anything to compare in the realm of human relationships, except perhaps when you marry and when you bear your own children. Blood is indeed thicker than water. I have one friend who I love like family but we never seem to go beyond a certain distance of "mine" and "yours". We never really become enmeshed as family do.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
The Merry-Go-Round at Griffith Park, California
Tonight, I am watching some old "Outer Limits" episodes and resting up from a tiring day. I like old t.v. shows, and I bought these sets of the outer limits because they were 50% off at amazon. They are pretty weird. A bit different than the twilight zone. The outer limits seemed to be more fixated on space and aliens, as well as government plots!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Glorious day!
Garn Studio Baby Drops patterns
Now I'm off to have some fun. Whoever you are, wherever you are: I hope you have a wonderful day.
Monday, February 4, 2008
links to friend's blogs on my blog (yes!)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
God is a lover
I just want to say that I am seriously considering moving to the countryside. It just sounds nice to say that. What a pleasant thing to think about. Why do I spend so much time worrying about things when I can set my mind on pleasant thoughts such as the beauty that God made. I should pray more too. God is a lover. That reminds me of a dream I had recently where I was talking to this woman I know in real life (an old highschool friend who is a nonbeliever) and she mentioned that she doesn't like the sexism in the Bible. And I went in to this rapturous discourse on how God is a lover and He is all about relationship, and how He made us male and female so that we can reflect this part of His divine nature and so we would also have a desire for the ultimate relationship...
And then I woke up and was amazed!
Shay!
Friday, February 1, 2008
sick of being sick
I'm going to edge my afghan today if I feel up to it. I think I found an edging I like but I'm too brain-fried to count stitches to see if it will work. You can view it here.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
temptation
still sick; being a sick mom of a sick kid; discriminated against
You know you are sick when you don't feel like drinking good coffee! I think it's weird how kids don't get as sick as their parents do from the same cold or flu. My daughter is getting on my nerves with wanting to play. But her nose is running and she woke up a few times last night crying, so I know she's sick.
So I have officially been discriminated against. I was inquiring about renting a duplex and I was told that the manager doesn't rent to people who have kids. According to the Fair Housing Act in California, it's totally illegal to discriminate against people with kids. I was thinking of reporting the landlord but it's a tricky situation because I didn't technically hear that from him. I heard it from the current tenant who is trying to arrange for someone to take over his lease because he wants to leave early. I can't seem to get him to put me in touch with the landlord unless I make a big deal about it. He's sort of, how do you say, "gently" discouraging me from looking to rent the place by saying how small the place is, and how the manager doesn't rent to people with kids. My husband mentioned to him that it's unlawful to say that. But I think the vibe I am getting is that this guy is desperate to not have to pay rent next month, so he is looking for someone who could move in quickly (and who the landlord would approve of). I guess that what i learned is: I know what it feels like to be discriminated against and denied some necessary service.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sick today, and a Project-Along
I am going to participate in a "Project-along" with some people on a mailing list called "Christian Artisans". That should be fun. The purpose is to make something for yourself. I never make anything for myself because everyone always wants everything I make. I will have to think about what to make. I was going to work on my afghan for this, but then I remembered that I am making it for my husband. There really isn't anything that I want that is crocheted or knitted. I kinda want to make some crocheted flowers to make something decorative to hang over the doorway to my kitchen. Perhaps I should work on this and figure out how to make it work. (I think I might need to use wire to keep the flowers and vines oriented the way I want?)
I guess this is a good enough idea. I don't need a scarf, hat, shawl, or anything else. I don't really know how to make a sweater, nor do i have the money. But scrap yarn is readily available to make flowers. So that will be the plan. For now, I guess!
Monday, January 28, 2008
a fun day, first day of parenting class
Now I get to relax and crochet. I'm trying to finish a large, queen-sized afghan that I have been working on forever. It's taking more time than I thought.
I was able to stop at Michaels craft store today and purchase a set of Susan Bates crochet hooks. I decided that I just had to have them because I'm so tired of my Boye hooks snagging the yarn as I'm working stitches. I was having a big problem when working with pompadour yarn for some baby items. I also picked up a few skeins of RH Supersaver to put a fancy edging on my queen-sized afghan. And I also could not resist buying a set of heart-shaped cookie cutters. I want to make some cookies as gifts this Valentine's Day. Corny but sweet. I want to find a spicy gingerbread recipe or something unusual. Although I have a Williams Sonoma recipe for Raspberry Linzer Hearts which are really amazing looking cookies. Perhaps I will make them.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Update on my puzzling life
My mother-in-law was in the hospital recently but she is home now. And the doctors say it was just a problem with taking too many medications. So I am glad and hope that there is nothing else wrong. But that was scary!
My mom might retire from her job, and so that has my side of the family preoccupied. It's a big move on her part as she is so dedicated to her job. But she is going to 70 years old soon so I feel it's the best thing for her.
I was researching a gluten-free diet for my friend (because she thinks her daughter has a wheat allergy). And I kept running across descriptions of something called celiac disease which is a serious allergy to gluten in grains. All of a sudden I realized that perhaps my grandmother, who is norwegian, might have celiac disease. She has all the symptoms, and it appears that people from Northern Europe have higher rates of carrying this disease because it is passed genetically. Then I started to think that me and my dad have it too because we have a lot of the symptoms too. So that's started me thinking I must see my doctor and get the blood test for it. Oh dear. All I need...another health concern!
Right now I am really pushing myself to de-clutter some areas in my house that my husband has repeatedly complained about. I am going to solve some of my stash problems by finishing up old projects and actually utilizing them. For instance, I have 4 giant granny square afghans that I intend to join together so that they will be a cover for my queen-sized bed. I have been meaning to do this for a long time but procrastinated. So that has just been sitting in a trashbag and adding to the clutter problem in the bedroom. I will finish that up over the next 2 days and then I get to feel good and proud of my work.
I told my husband recently that I feel like our home is like one of those puzzles where all the pieces are attached to the board, and there is only one space so that you can slide the pieces around to rearrange and solve the puzzle. It's not a flattering image, but that is basically what we are dealing with because for economic reasons, we are forced to live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Between our things and the baby's things, we barely have room for everything. But I am determined to keep shifting things around and also to donate/toss until we have a better more harmonious arrangement.
We have lived in this apartment for more than 2 years, and we have never hung up our framed pictures and things! All the frames and junk that should be on the walls is propped up against a wall in the bedroom. This is a typical thing with us. So I am determined to either hang up things our throw them away.
I thought I would mention that recently, I joined a bunch of yahoo groups for knitting and crochet. But then I was disturbed to see that on this one knitting list, they made it a rule that you could not mention your faith. I hate that sort of thing. I know that I should consider it a blessing when people persecute me, but it always seems like this sort of thing is in the grey area of not being true persecution...but just bigotry or something annoying like that. So then I searched and found a few Christian crafting groups. I have joined them. I guess I'll just quit out of the secular lists. I am just tired of feeling like I have to avoid mentioning my faith for fear of offending people. I don't want to be totally obnoxious about faith because I don't feel that it is good if faith is not shared out of love. But on the other hand, I don't want to compartmentalize my life so that my online life is devoid of Christ. I am trying to walk with Jesus, and that includes my writing. Online stuff is all writing. It's words you put in to print. It should reflect the core of who you are. And I am in Christ. So that's my decision. I know it is a good one. Perhaps I will only quit the knitting group that has made that unfair rule.
Today I am home with my daughter. I am working on the Crocheted Nappy Cake.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Now we are to dance!!!
Zuma addict said: "Does this game ever end. I have decided to go to a 1000 and if it doesn’t end, I am going to delete it from my computer…it’s the only way to return to my normal life…"
then later Zuma addict says: "now I am up to level 1603 with over a billion points and nothing….I said i would play to 1000 and then it was i will play to a billion points and now….i don’t know..i need to delete it!! IT seems to me to have no end!"
And that's all there is from Zuma addict. I wonder, is he/she still out there with all the little balls rolling around endlessly?
Perhaps they never heard:
"Excellent work, mighty frog one! You obtained your lawful place of the stars, at the side of the ancient ruler of the Zuma. In the future, as for me, you are known as our sibling. I will call you brother, and we control the outer space together! It is joyous news! Now we are to the dance!"
(Words from final screen of Zuma)
I should stay far far far away from Zuma. But I am seriously thinking of buying it from amazon. I think it's only like 10 dollars.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
crocheting for a new baby today
It's a mad mad world. It really is. I can't even believe all the crazy things that have happened lately. Hmmm. Time to just pray and crochet.
Friday, January 11, 2008
a falling out, and a fresh plan for the day
I don't want to say anymore because I don't want to reveal any personal information.
So today I am not having a visit with my friend. I thought that instead, I would work on de-stashing and also plan something new to knit or crochet. For now, I will have a cup of coffee and try to make sense of the jumble of emails I get from various knitting and crochet groups I joined!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
friends today
I managed to put a couple more rows on a tunisian crochet "thing" I am making. I'm not sure what it will be, but it might have to be a bag since I'm running out of yarn and can't make a changing table mat (for a baby).
Tonight, I need to go put all my daughter's toys away. I stacked all her new toys (from her birthday and Christmas) on top of the bed to get them out of the way. And I'm going to sort through her old toys and bag up a bunch to either donate or put in storage. I wish we had more room but we don't. So we'll have to be ruthless at times and just donate a bunch of stuff.
My yarn stash is next. I hope that we will be able to make a donation this weekend. Oh that reminds me. I need to do 2 things: call my husband tonight and ask him to bring cardboard boxes home from work. They have the best boxes for packing up stuff. And I also need to make a note to myself that I must call the pediatrician tomorrow to confirm that I can drop in on Monday for my kiddo to get some shots. I also need to pack up a box for my friend because I am going to pass along some of my daughter's baby clothes (my friend is expecting and is receptive to second hands). Of course I'll enclose something new. I crocheted a really cute baby hat that matches a shirt I bought for the lil' boy.
Oh the joys of having a personal blog! The weather was really nice today. Cool and crisp; no rain; sunny. I am watching the first episode of "Keeping Up Appearances" (I have the DVD set). And today my husband was extremely wonderful to me. I can't think of anything else to record here. It was just a nice pleasant day. Although I did receive sad news about a friend of mine having a medical emergency. I'm praying for her and it has cast a sad tone on the day. I feel the precariousness of life today. I also received a phone call from another friend and learned of an old acquaintance having a myspace page. So I was able to read what he is up to and look at his current pics. It was really strange to look in on his life via a myspace page. I haven't seen him in more than a decade. He looks really old to me. But then again, I look old now too, I guess. But he does look like life has kicked him around a bit. I'm sure he's just been working really hard because he's a Phd student. I assume that would age you a bit! He has a super cute baby. It seems like a lot of people my age (mid to late thirties) are having babies now.