Saturday, November 8, 2008

the dreadful seattle trip! but it was GOOD

Well, I have been home for awhile but I am getting better from a dreadful flu that I came down with shortly after arriving in Seattle. My daughter and I were sick the whole time we were there and we had to stay a week longer to get better from ear infections before flying home. It was a really scary experience to be so sick when far from home. The irony is amazing. My mom was amazed. She said that she can't remember the last time we got sick, so it is so weird we would get sick on this vacation. And it's also terrible because I can't really afford to vacation, so I literally haven't been on a trip in years. So this was my one chance to have a real vacation and my daughter and I were dreadfully sick. Sometimes things happen like that. It feels very fated, or should I say cursed! But I know we were really OK. The saddest thing for me was losing my voice because I had brought some of my favorite hymns' lyrics with me. I knew I would not be able to go to church, probably (since my friend is not a Christian), and I wanted to have my Bible, my devotional, and my favorite hymns. But I couldn't sing since my throat hurt so bad I could hardly swallow. So I just read the Bible and wrote in my paper journal.

The worst aspect was being afraid for my daughter. I didn't have a car up there and a lot of the time, I was left alone with my daughter all day. I didn't even have a phone since my friend uses her cell phone as her line. I had borrowed my mom's cell phone but since I was out of state, I couldn't use the phone or it would cost 75 cents per minute.

I had nowhere to turn except to God. And it did feel like my whole life was whittled down to just me and God. I was quite a baby about it all. Yet God was speaking to me, and I was finally able to have that perfect opportunity to talk to my friend about God. You see, all week long, I was asking God what I could say to my friend. And all I could think of doing was to be as loving and kind as possible, every single minute. Even though I was hurting and scared and severely ill. I just kept washing baby bottles for her, and cooking food for her every day, and cleaning the apartment. I tried to be useful every single day, no matter how bad I felt or how much I wanted to collapse in to a ball of quivering flesh.

Then on like the last day of the trip, when I was feeling like a useless failure for not finding any opportunity to talk to my friend about God, then suddenly my friend started asking me questions about Jesus and faith. And I just let it all shine forth. I answered each of her questions, and I made sure to explain why atonement with God is the most important matter in a human life. God is supremely wonderful...

I have no idea if she will accept Christ. It appears not. But the important thing is that someone who loves her told her all about God and what she chooses to do with it is her responsibility. Some day, she is going to die. I just hope and pray that before that day comes, she makes the most important decision she can possibly make. By Grace, we are able to make that decision. I am so glad to see that God's Grace is at work in her life, because I saw that God was working in that situation, leading her and getting her curious about Himself.

Now my latest issue is that I am super late on my period so I am worrying about being pregnant. I know that being ill can delay ovulation, therefore delaying the period. So that's probably all it is. But it's weird to be worried about yet another physical thing.

Today, most everyone I know is sick. So I am staying home, feeling lonely. I have nothing to do and my hands don't feeling like knitting or crocheting or doing anything really. So I feel like a big lump, a very lonely lump. But I know that I just need to turn away from these thoughts of my self and think of better things. I'll probably finish the dishes and get something cooking for dinner. I love cooking. It always soothes me to prep ingredients and smell something good cooking.